i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
