So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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