my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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