btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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