why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
