i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
