ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
