He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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