So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize