Tell her she can't have a vagina
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Randomize
