you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
