You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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