the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We had to coat check the pizza.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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