I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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