So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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