I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
