I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
