Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
