i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
