After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Also, beer. Big fan.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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