no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
