you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
