she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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