And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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