I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
