either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize