Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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