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Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize