it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
