I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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