They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
How naked do you want me to be?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
