ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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