I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Holy shit dude........stairs
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
