Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
