ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
