I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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