You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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