the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
