I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
