and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
