I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize