can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
