just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
