Ambien. No doubt about it.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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