Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
