I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
