Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize