we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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