Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
