It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
