Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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