Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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