they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
