Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
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