Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
