He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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