Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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