Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Dicks are not precious.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
