I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
