these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
