Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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