Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
