you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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