is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
