I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
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