I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
