Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
