I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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