What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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