So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
