just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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