One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
