i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
