so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
