I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
